We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve.

by Paper Lions

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Perks of Being A Wallflower 


Overused and under appreciated; that’s what I think. Desperate girls clinging to the words, using them to aid their broken hearts and justify their choices in life. Yes, this quote gets the clique “white girl” stigma, but it is amazing. If you know the context in which this was spoken, and even if you don’t really, this quote speaks volumes. Concise and beautiful, these 8 words sum up all relationships, everywhere. We accept the love we think we deserve.


Notice how the quote doesn’t say, we accept the love we DO deserve. No. It says we accept what we THINK we deserve. What we do deserve and what we think we deserve are two very different things. We come from an era of low self esteem, self loathing, and shame. We look down on ourselves and forget to love ourselves. This causes many problems, but one in particular has been brought to my attention lately, and that’s that we never chose the ones who genuinely, truly, and deeply, love us, because we do not believe that we deserve to be loved. As harsh and as weird as that sounds, it’s true. I mean, it’s not as if you’re sitting there, thinking, “oh I don’t deserve love,” but subliminally, we do think that. We chose to view ourselves poorly, therefore believing we are not good enough for true love.


This is a hard thing to realize in ourselves, and that’s why it is usually pointed out, or rather, seen in someone else’s life. How often do you think to yourself, wow she could do better or, man, he does not realize how poorly she treats him. It’s especially difficult to watch when you wholeheartedly know there is someone better out there. But the thing is, the confusing, difficult, unfathomable part about life is that we can not accept the love we so deserve, if we do not love ourselves. We just can’t. It’s unfortunate that it is so difficult in this day and age, to find it within ourselves to fall in love with the person we genuinely are, but if you even want a shot at the kind of love you deserve, you have to be unapologetically you and discover that love first. 


We may make bad choices in love, relationships, friendships of every variety, but it’s only because we are unaware of the greatness that is in store. We are told we are not good enough, but we are. I am here today to tell you that you are good enough. You deserve a beautiful, wild, love, so find it. And be happy, because there is nothing better than realizing you are worth more.